BREAKING NEWS!: Office Mouse Found Dead….Gets Revenge On Cat

The investigation into the fugitive office mouse that began late last week has now come to a close. Early this morning the mouse was found convulsing in the middle of the floor in the back kitchen of the NINE30 house located at Vernon Ave. and 13th Street. Witnesses to the scene believe that the mouse ate the poison that had been specially prepared for him and was paying the price of being a “dumb rat.” One generous onlooker decided that it would be best to take the sick mouse and place him outside to enjoy his last moments in the great outdoors. “I just thought I would give the little guy some fresh air,” the onlooker said.

Just when authorities believed the mouse was no longer capable of causing anymore mischief, our hairy, little, rodent felon used his (or her) last breaths to get revenge for mice all over the world. Sometime between the hours of 10 and 11am this morning it is believed that the mouse posed as a delicious meal for a neighborhood feline. “That cat ought to be dead in about 2 hours,” said an exhausted witness, “I’m just glad this whole fiasco is over.”

Reporting from northeast Lubbock,

I’m Austin W.

~ by Austin W. on June 30, 2008.